I was reading where Governor Schwarzenegger is proposing a one cent tax hike and cutting 20,000 jobs.
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/08/04/MN2212523E.DTL
Take people’s jobs, and then tax them higher. I mean, I am no economist by any elastic stretch of the imagination, but what a dip shit.
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Okay,
Father Luke
Well Hello there Governor Schwarzenegger!
Life has certainly been a whirly-gig of change.
This must be what life is like for you during an election year! Who whee!
As you are well aware, Governor, I have graduated from Truck Driving School. I wanted you to know that the school was great. The finest education money could buy. I learned all about trucks, and truck driving, Governor Schwarzenegger. May I call you Governor Schwarzenegger?
Driving a truck has begun making me a wealthy man. Yes, sir! Can you believe it? Truck driving? There is a lot of money in that business.
Hey? You never did get back to me. I must tell you that that kind of hurt. Now that I have money coming out my ass, and I’m laughing my balls off every day, I almost feel like I could ignore you, and not feel too bad about it! But hell, you know I wouldn’t do that. No, Sir !
I’m working out of Texas now, Governor, Sir, where I’ve learned to say “britches” instead of pants, and without laughing all that much about it when I do say it.
Well, Sir, of course a fond hello to your lovely wife. She ain’t hispanic, but hell I’d do her. Furthermore, I’d get that bitch outt’a her britches, and make her dance like a cockroach on a hot skillet, such as a fine woman like her deserves! Yes, Sir!
Whoops! More Texas coming through! I just love it here in Texas!
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Okay for now,
Father Luke
Office of the Governor
State Capitol Building
Sacramento, CA 95814
e-mail: governor@governor.ca.gov
Dearest Governor Schwarzenegger:
May I call you Governor Schwarzenegger?
As you are well aware, I am attending Truck Driving school. I say as you are well aware since it is happening in your state of “Cally For Nya” (wink, wink), and not much happens in California without you knowing about it, right?
I heard a story about you I wanted to check. Since we have become acquainted with each other in the whole Workforce-truck driving school affair, I feel it might be appropriate to approach you with a story I heard about you. Feel free to answer at your leisure. Here is the story I heard about you:
Down in Los Angeles there is a golf course which faces an old folk’s home. Some of these old folks are war veterans who have trouble with their bathroom functions, and so they wear colostomy bags. Some of them folks don’t stand on ceremony, and they just urinate where they sit.
One day these old folks were facing the golf course, and one of my cousins was getting ready to tee off on the first hole. I understand you drive a Hummer, Governor Schwarzenegger? Well, my cousin said that you drove up and parked your hummer.
Then you got out with a bucket of golf balls and a golf club. My cousin was happy to see you. Most everyone I know yells loudly when they hear your name. My cousin said he was amazed to see you dump your bucket of golf balls on the first tee and begin hitting the balls like you were on a driving range.
WHACK!
Whack
whack
Governor Schwarzenegger was hitting balls all over the course. Then you simply picked up your bucket, got into your hummer and drove away.
I love this story, Sir. It so demonstrates what may be achieved when you really put your mind to it.
Again, I realize that this is an election year, and that an immediate reply may be impossible. But I shall await your response.
As always, do give my very best to that strong woman, your wife, the woman who stands behind the successful man, that would be you, Governor Schwarzenegger.
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Okay,
Father Luke
E-Mailed to Governor Schwarzenegger
Sunday, October 8th, 2006
And on, and on and on it goes, as I continue getting letters from my crazy fans.
Wrote to the Governor, Padre. Find a copy of the letter enclosed.
Then I read this:
> This is what I sent to the meat head
>
> Office of the Governor
> State Capitol Building
> Sacramento, CA 95814
>
> Mr Arnold Schwarzenegger,
> You have recieved a letter from a friend of mine asking for
> help. Oh how I wish you have responded to it. His name is Luke
> Miljevich, and all he wants is a small amount of help to become a
> prosperous taxpayer that will vote for you. Now, I may not be a
> taxpayer, and I may not be an American, but my cousin moved over 5 000
> miles to fight a war for your president and I pray that must mean
> something to you. A member of your constituency crys out for help,
> what kind of man could stand idle and let his dreams die? All the man
> wants is to drive a heavy vehicle on a long run across your Red White
> and Blue. Is that so hard a request? Please find it in your heart to
> make his dreams come true,
> Your Fan
>
> Mick
(Reprinted with permission)
Good Gawd!
I’ll be shipped off to Guantánamo Bay sure as my mother hates me. “I told you the cocksucker was no good,” I can hear my mother shouting at the telly, dry food crumbs flying from her mouth as my long, sad face is paraded by on the nightly news in an orange jumpsuit. Me, manacled at the wrists, pleading for mercy and begging to be distanced from my well meaning but degenerate and deranged lunatic fans.
But I must say, that I am loving the attention.
Thanks all… .
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Okay,
Father Luke
Office of the Governor
State Capitol Building
Sacramento, CA 95814
So nice to be writing to you again!
I see that you have been in Fresno several times in the last month. Well, election year is here and every vote counts. I notice that you haven’t stopped in at The Poverello House to have any lunch with the folks too poor to buy their own meals. The families, the indigent, the broken tired huddled masses yearning to be free who are not allowed to vote because they are homeless.
We read about you in the Fresno Bee, you know, and we are proud of the work you are doing for Fresno. Even if we can’t vote, we cheer you on. “Yaay, yaaay, Governor Schwarzenegger!” You should hear us yell when we hear your name.
And okay to all that.Your staff has asked me to mail you a letter. And in cooperating with your hard working associates, I am here to serve the Governor’s office in any way I can, so here is the letter they have asked that I send to you.
Please, make yourself at home and relax. A comfortable sense of leisure is essential.
Several weeks ago I went into WorkForce Connection in Fresno to see about receiving assistance in getting some schooling to become a Truck Driver. A friend of mine had gone through WorkForce Connection, gotten assistance, and had gone on to become a truck driver after he got money to go to school from WorkForce Connection. He had great experiences, and he suggested that I might benefit from WorkForce Connection’s services. I was reluctant, Governor, I have to tell you the truth. But I went anyway. Pride comes before the fall, and I swallowed my pride and went into the Fresno offices of WorkForce Connection. I told the man that I was homeless. He told me straight off that there was nothing that he or WorkForce Connection could do for me. I was surprised and asked him if that was the policy. He said that he would check. He referred me to his supervisor. I introduced myself to his supervisor and told her that my name is Father Luke Miljevich, I am homeless, and I would like to do whatever is necessary to begin the process to apply for assistance in going to school to become a truck driver. Governor Schwarzenegger? May I call you Governor Schwarzenegger? According to statistics, Truck Driving is the number one job in Fresno. Number one. Numero Uno. The biggest needed job in Fresno. The woman suggested that I go get sober in a local facility and try back in six months. Well, Governor. I was rather embarrassed for her because I do not drink or do drugs or smoke cigarettes or even drink coffee. But I did as she suggested and went to the local facility and asked them if I could get into their program. They laughed and patted me on the back. Oh Father Luke, they said. You can’t get into our program if you do not have a drug problem. So, I went back to WorkForce Connection and told the supervisor that I couldn’t get into the program. It was at that point that the supervisor told me that I could not get any help what-so-ever from WorkForce Connection. I asked her if there were any alternatives. She got up from her desk, folded her arms and said that was the final word. I asked to speak with Her supervisor. I was sure that something must be available for me, a homeless man, struggling to succeed and better himself. Her supervisor arrived. I asked the new supervisor if she would put into writing that I was not entitled to help as a homeless man. She asked me to repeat that.I did. She talked with the other woman. She came back to me. She told me to come back tomorrow and she would see to it that the staff knew to get the ball rolling for me. Since that time, I have been given tests and helped in a lot of different ways, Governor Schwarzenegger. I have been given approximately one hundred and twenty dollars for glasses. I have become a bit nearsighted in my old age and I now have glasses to be able to see! Unfortunately I have also been beaten as I slept.
About a month ago, a gang of about six or eight big guys ran at me while I slept on an overpass. One broke a bottle over my head and the rest of the gang beat me with sticks. I still have a few bumps on my “noggin” (that’s slang for my head). I sure could have used your help then. I’ll bet that no gang would go up against Governor Schwarzenegger. No sir! Gangs are pretty bad in Fresno.
But I’m not a crybaby so okay to all that.
Anyway, the WorkForce Connection hasn’t done anything about helping me to get into school yet. They say they may, but it’s hard to tell. They tell me you vetoed a bill which would have allowed them several million dollars to help people.
Anyway, this is the letter you have asked for from me via your staff. Again, I realize that this is an election year, and you are busy. So, it’s okay if you do not get back to me personally. Being homeless I cannot vote and you have responsibilities to your voters. I sure want to thank you for the opportunity to be able to write to you.
If you are ever in the neighborhood, I know about a thousand people who would be delighted to see you and have lunch with you. Check out the Poverello House in Fresno. They serve 1,200 meals each day to those, much like myself, who cannot buy or prepare their own meals. I do hope we shall all see you in at least one more action adventure movie before everything is all said and done.
May I add that I send my very best to your lovely wife. You are a lucky guy to have a good woman like that behind you.
With fondness to you,
Father Luke
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Okay,
Father Luke
