Why Tony Soprano is Cool
Tony Soprano kicks serious balls and he is rivaled on television as a presence only by David Milch’s Al Swearingen.
Tony Soprano is cool and he’s cool not because he kills people but because he goes to a therapist to talk about it.
Tony Soprano is cool not because he wants to fuck his therapist, and who doesn’t, but because he has a wife he loves and takes care of.
Tony Soprano isn’t cool becuse he hangs out at a titty bar, but rather because he has kids and he loves them.
The first time I heard Tony call someone a douche bag I was dumbstruck, man. It was cool to hear him say that. Since then I have heard children saying it. That’s like watching a white child in baggy pants, with his ass hanging out, and an oh-so-cool strut saying “I’m Rick James, bitch”.
Tony Soprano isn’t cool because he knows to say douche but because he knows not to.
You be cool too.
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Okay,
Father Luke
