F a t h e r L u k e ’s dot Blawg

I’ve always loved this.

- -
Okay,
Father Luke

—————– Bulletin Message —————–

1. What’s worse? Liars or cheaters?
Being dead

2. Is it easier to forgive or forget?
Sleep.

3. Can men and women be “Just Friends”?
Why?

4. How do you feel about dating Co-Workers?
Only if it’s the boss, so I can sue the fucker later.

5. All expenses paid vacation to anywhere… where?
My Childhood

6. What was your last meal?
Shit sandwich. Real big bite. Hungry?

7. What are you listening to right now?
Currently found over yonder. You’ll see it.

8. What kind of car do you drive?
Work Boots. I walk. Cool, haw?

9. If you could be with any of your ex boyfriends/girlfriends again, would you?
Sure. Let me get my gun, I’ll be right with you.

10. Would you rather have 1 great friend or 5 pals?
Free porn

11. If someone called you a bitch would you be offended?
Cunt.

12. Are you okay with your boyfriend/girlfriend being friends with an ex?
Sure. Let me get my gun, I’ll be right with you.

13. Would you live with someone without marrying them?
Lift your dress, and bed over that sofa, bitch.

14. Favorite sport?
Masturbation

15. Do you like diet soda?
Fuck no. That shit’s poison. You shouldn’t drink it neither, motherfucker.

16. Do you squeeze toothpaste from the bottom or the middle?
What the fuck’s toothpaste?

17. How do you feel about tanning booths?
I only watch

18. Friends with benefits?
Fuck’s that s’podda mean?

19. Do you believe in angels?
Hell’s Angels? Shit. Them motherfuckers are some bad ass dudes.

20. Would you rather take pictures or be in pictures?
Masturbate to pictures.

22. Ever kissed a random person and then walked away?
Yeah. Licked her cooze, too.

23. Last concert you attended?
Too fucking stoned to remember.

24. What color looks best on you?
I’m not prejudiced, any fucking color on me is fine.

25. If you could play any sport professionally what would it be?
I always had a leaning towards fucking.

26. Who was your childhood crush?
The boy next door?

27. Are you a jealous person?
Sure. Let me get my gun, I’ll be right with you.

28. Who is your role model?
The physical universe.

29. Have you ever been in a car accident?
Too fucking drunk to remember.

30. Who has the sexiest accents?
Women.

31. If you could be anywhere right now, where would you be?
Selling guns in Europe.

32. Favorite song?
Currently found over yonder. You’ll see it.

33. Where is your phone?
It’s black. I’m in a dark room. You do the math.

34. What’s your occupation?
I’d tell you, but then I’d have to kill ya’. Sorry.

35. What is your astrological sign?
November 7th. I’m asparagus.

36. Are you a beach, country or city person?
Bitch person. Fact, that’s where I live - the Bitch.

37. Current CD playing in your car?
I walk. Remember?

38. Are you better with maps or step-by-step directions?
I need fucking Google Maps just to get out of my fucking chair.

39. If you could own a non-traditional pet which would it be?
A Vagina

40. Favorite movie as a child?
Texas Chainsaw Massacre

41. Where do you spend most of your money?
The Courts

42. Are you currently working at a job that you hate?
I’m a writer. It doesn’t pay. What do you mean “Hate”?

43. Have you ever been so heart broken that you called in sick to school?
Yeah. But the teacher was fired for fucking me, so it didn’t matter that I skipped school.

44. Do you take any medication?
Dandruf Shampoo

45. Can you change a car tire?
While it’s moving. Yes.

46. Favorite season?
Discontent

47. Favorite candle scent?
Home made bread

48. Would you consider yourself adventurous?
No. Very ’stay-at-home’ (heh, heh)

49. What is your favorite song & why did you choose it?
Currently found over yonder. You’ll see it.

50. Who was the last person that told you they loved you?
My Priest. Had to stab the fucker. Oh, well.

51. Did you say it back?
Uh…

52. Would you sing Karaoke in front of co-workers?
Naked.

53. Can you shoot pool?
Five dollars on it? You break.

55. Can you drive a stick?
Sheeeeeet.

56. When you marry will you wear white?
I’ve done fucked so many times, if I wore white the whole mother-fucking town would chase me down the street.

57. Have you ever sat and hoped for a phone call?
Oh, man.

58. Ever skip school and spend the day at the beach?
No comment. But I swear it wasn’t me.

59. Favorite TV show?
Anything with lots of bondage.

60. Last piercing you got?
Nipples. I was gonn’a pierce my belly button, but I figured I’d look too much like a smiley face, so I said fuck it.

61. Favorite flower?
Her name is Irene.

62. What are you looking forward to the most?
I got no plans. Best way, I’ve found.

63. What did you do today?
Sheeeeet. What didn’t I do?

64. What’s your favorite color?
Invisible

65. Finally, plans for tomorrow?
Sheeeeet. baby, don you know? Tomorrow never comes.

- -
Okay,
Father Luke

It’s so popular, so chic, so hip to slam Religion.

Especially The Christian Religions.
They’re old, shrouded in Mystery,
they involve sex scandals,
big money, and stodgy old white men.

What’s not to laugh?
Silly, aren’t we? People, I mean.
The ways of us.

Slam religions.
Make fun of them.
All religions, not just the easy ones.
Pick them apart.

Find what works.

When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became grown, I put away my childish ways. And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Find what works.
Find the Poetry.

Love never dies.

- -
Okay,
Father Luke

Wednesday, September 18th, 2007
Port Russel, Wisconsin, U.S.A.

Exactly one week after the sixth Anniversary of the World Trade Center Attack, a rag-tag group of American Veterans made a caustic display of Patriotism.

Jebidiah Longness, Humphry Simmons, and Carl Jenkins Burn Flags

“We’ve had it,” the Spokesman, Warren Hargraves, read from a printed release. “You want it to be one world, one people, and let our women get raped, and forfeit your jobs to a bunch of fucking Mexicans and Diaper Heads. Then fine. Fine. We’ve had it. Protect your own fucking Country.”

And with that, began burning American Flags they had stolen from all over town.

School children cried as Veterans of Foreign Wars burned stolen American Flags.

“You people don’t seem to realize,” one Man said. “We fought to save these colors. We have every right to burn them just for fucking spite.”

Burned American Flag: Stolen by Veterans of Foreign Wars

Police were dispatched to the scene. No arrests were made, but several wives flatly refused to fix any dinner.

“Fix it your own God Damned self,” Henrieta Sebring told her husband. “Or steal dinner from the grade school where you stole the flag, you ignorant, old fool.”

I made some coffe, and I wrote this while I waited.

It smells reqlly good.

I dont care about spelling.

I’m going to take a bath.

Not necessarily in thart order.

- -
Okay,
Father Luke

Go here < - - -

Try these:

shake
kiss
glasses
sneeze
roll over

My favorite:
fashion show

Here is the sound file.

- -
Okay,
Father Luke

Thanks to Sour Grapes who saw it first.

C L I C K

- -
Okay,

I was earting at the homeless shelter
in Fresno California

Saroyan Country

I read in the newspaper
that hunger had been eradicated

It’s a joke, I thought
And as it turns out it really was a joke

the word Hunger is politically incorrect
the way to say it now is: low food security

Well, it’s a year later, and just for today, I have bananas, some apples,
a can of soup, a loaf of bread, peanut butter, tofu and onions…

That reminds me of a joke.

Q.) What’s the difference between jelly and jam?
A.) I can’t jelly my dick into your ass

- -
Okay,
Father Luke

Lost
Deserted
Crazy - Crazed
Addicted
86′d
Scorned
Locked away
feared
Forgotten
remembered after their death

the good ones anyway.

- -
Okay,
Father Luke

The internet is stale with
bad poetry,
mine included,

I mean…
You know?

There is too much information related
only to the internet, on the internet. Problems created by the medium itself.

As if Buddha were contemplating navel lint,
God with his head up his fucking ass,
Shiva having an epileptic seizure…

‘Well, we have these html problems, and these blogging issues…’
‘Upgrading the blawg-o-sphere with these widgets…’

Or is it just me?
Just call me Mr Fucking Sunshine.

(deep bow)
- -
Okay,
Father Luke